Flops & Tops

It's been awhile since I shared some good and well strange moments in my life. Thought it was a good time to do that.

The Flops:

• Walking into the kitchen with a dirty dish from some very intersting tasting red velvet ice cream, and opening the fridge to place the dirty dish inside. I did manage to stop myself, but obviously the ice cream wasn't that satisfying if I headed straight for the fridge.

•  Ummm... major flop, developing an ulcer at the ripe old age of 27. I mean what is that. Whatever... so pepto and I will be getting up close and personal.

• Re-painting the living room a lighter grey than was originally there. Only to discover in some light it looks purple. Well, whatevs folks, I like purple and will be damned if I am going to paint it again. 

The Tops:

• Sending the mister to Target to return something and he returns with the spoonula thingy you were talking about the other day. Awesome sauce! 

• Drinking beer in bed with a great book on a Sunday afternoon... yes folks that's what those photos mean. I think beer in bed is better than anywhere else.

• Getting my kitty cat home from the vet, and knowing he will be just fine. Poor thing was in a lot of pain, but $600 some odd dollars later he is a-ok.... for now. 

Flops & Tops

Just a few moments from my life lately to give you a laugh!! XOXO

The Flops:

• Offering to be a good colleague and take the cart back up the second floor only to have the elevator doors shut on you and the cart and screaming like a banshee because you thought the elevator was going to eat you.
• A flop for the mister - watching some horrible beat your wife movie on lifetime movie network. The mister comes over and sits down looks at the logo and goes what is this the Latin American network. I just stared at him mouth open..... how he got that from LMN.... guess American is said Merican these days.
• Getting things together for a crock pot meal. Some flank steak burrito thingys (technical terms on this blog of course). I cut the meat and place it in the pot... shit, wait I need to give it a rub first, place back in pot....wait I need to spray the pot.....spray and place back in pot.....wait the onions go underneath. Okay so you get the idea. I did eventually get it all in there, but clearly with a hell of a lot more trouble than it should have taken.

*side note anyone interested in posts about recipes that are winners?

The Tops:

• Going to the grocery store and seeing it covered in cadbury cream eggs (the greatest things ever invented) and all things spring. So ready for it to arrive.
• Working at home sitting at the dining room table with the windows open and a 75 degree breeze blowing through the windows. I mean I could tell you some other awesome things that happened lately, but really does anything get better than that!?!?!
• Okay, just one more... getting a Valentine's card from your dad (the foobs) that says how proud he is of you and how much he loves you. I mean when it comes to dads.... mine is the total TOPS!! - I know this one is old, but still so good!

Flops and Tops

Well hello there!!! How have you been, I have been dealing with some internal disagreements between my head and well everything else in the world so I have disappeared a bit I guess. Since I am back I thought it would be good to start off with some funny flops and tops moments of late. Brace yourself folks.

The Flops:

• Climbing in bed to read a good book that I really wanted to read, but knowing that I was pretty tired. Only to fall asleep and be woken up with the book banging me in the face


• Deciding after my epic craft store fail (didn't have what I needed) that I need coffee to get through the day. So I stop and get a starbucks latte. I sit it on top of the cup holders (my cup holders have a cover you slide away to put cups down in) and forget about it. Oh yeah folks you can see where this is going. I turned the corner and bam a hot ...what the.... oh shit that's latte down my leg. Mind you the mister had just cleaned my car. Great timing right.


• Deciding that while the mister is away for a few days I will build a fire all by myself. I have done this before why can't I do it again. Well  I start it, it begins to burn.. then nothing. All of a sudden the bastard smolders out and refuses to light again. It had been a bad day so I ever so nicely decided to take the poker thing you hit the wood with and well beat it senseless and start crying. Let me just also throw in that I was in hot pink pajama pants and wool socks. I may have slide and fallen to the ground while beating this wood.... yeah so while you picture that and laugh you ass off because looking back it was pretty funny. How about some successes???

The Tops:

• The mister coming home after being away for almost a week!!

Umm...yeah he built a fire when he returned it stayed lit just in case you were wondering. So it must have been user error on my behalf

So with that said, I think that about sums up the good points of late. Kind of lame, but hopefully you got a laugh out my screw ups. Plan this week, do something worthwhile and enjoy it. Until next time crazies, have a great week!!

Flops and Tops

This week's flops and tops moments brought to you care of the Thanksgiving holiday. I know it was over a week ago, but whatevs these are still good ones.

The Flops:

• Deciding to make my grandmothers famous cake for my mother, but realizing I have never made icing before and what I do end up making is more like fudge. That doesn't really spread on the cake. This leads to having a half iced half not iced cake.


• Picking on my dad because he leaves the toilet seat up and every light in every room on. Only to have that backfire because this leads him to remind me every time he turns off one of those lights much like a kid...."Look mommy I did as I was told."


• Reaching over to give my sweet cat a pet or 2 and scaring the living shit out of him. Like cats gone wild attack mode because he thought I was taking his tail.

The Tops:

• Getting some nice photos with my family even thought I know they hate the all of 5 minutes it takes to take a photo.


• Getting to do some shopping with my mother. Okay so I had to push her around in a wheel chair and we may or may not have hit a few of those stands they put up in the mall with stock stuffers, but whatevs. Pretty sure I put everything we knocked down back.


• Making my grandmothers cake. Okay so the thing may have looked like I put it in the washing machine before serving it but it was tasty folks!! Tasted just like Grandrenie used to make.

*Side note for those amazing cooks out there. I now know when the icing isn't soft enough to spread add more evap milk. So I may have been a daft moron this time, but next time I will rock that cake fo sho!

Flops & Tops

 Okay so you may have thought I totally bailed on the world wide blogosphere. However, you would be totally freaking wrong. I just happened to have absolutely no interest in looking at a computer screen once I was done working each day, or when I got up in the morning. Whatevs I am back now. With some funny shiz to share.

The Flops

• Buying a super cute new coat and deciding to wear it everywhere. Only to realize that the weather has turned decidedly warmer and you are sweating your balls off (well if you had balls).


• Trying to enjoy this wave of nice weather by working with the windows open. Only to have your neighbors who are in their 30s play corn hole all day every day and drive your dog COMPLETELY NUTS!! Like batshit crazy, barking and whining.


• Who doesn't love a dinner party right? I mean I know I do especially when it is a birthday dinner party right. You know what's better than that. Enjoying a birthday dinner party without the birthday boy. Why you might ask?!?! Oh that's right because your husband has gone to pick him up by the side of the road because he almost lost a tire. Not like a flat tire folks like almost lost the whole freaking wheel....yeah it was an interesting night kids.

The Tops

• Making a killer good butternut squash and tortellini recipe and enjoying the hell out of the entire stick of butter it had in its sauce.


• While enjoying that extremely buttery sticks to your ass dinner, we listened to Miles Davis on vinyl. It felt kind of like we had our very own jazz under ground restaurant. We topped it off with some dancing in the living room in front of the fire. Felt like a scene out of a movie....minus my fushia pajama pants.


• Waking up to your kitty cat curled up by your head and purring away. Okay so his ass was kind of too close to my face but I will take kitty cat cuddles whenever I can get them.

The Flops & The Tops

The Flops:

Realizing that you work from home a lot, and when you get up you get dressed nicely (hence photo above)...like a professional. Only to change back into yoga pants about 2 hours because well no one sees you.

Also realizing that when you do that, you usually leave your jewelry and a nice shirt on with your slippers and yoga pants. Just in case the person on the conference call with you develops x-ray vision and can see you through that spreadsheet. Don't want them to think you are slacking.

Attempting to wash your face with hair conditioner. I mean like getting it all slathered on your face before realizing that it isn't face wash. Let's just say my face is now frizz free.

The Tops:

Having a really nice IMing conversation with your boss who is also working at home about how great of a job you do. Definitely not telling her you may not have showered yet that day and are definitely in your PJs.

Waking up late because you were dreaming about Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort to come downstairs and have coffee already brewing. The coffee may not have been the best but at least he made it for me.

Having a very real dream that you are a witch at Hogwarts and you are definitely BFF's with Harry P.  Pretty sure I was the coolest witch evah!  

The Flops & The Tops

So I thought it would be fun to talk about something that happen to me on any given week. Those that were total tops and rocked my face off and those that were epic flops and sucked a big fat one!

Flops:

Getting your card badge for work stuck in your underwear any time you go to the bathroom. This happens pretty regularly to me and I can't figure out what I am doing wrong.

Attempting to make dinner and as per usual realizing that you forgot a vital part of the recipe.

Driving to the grocery store for said vital ingredient in grubby yoga pants and white shirt...only to realize you aren't wearing a bra. I probably looked like I had a twitch as I tried to dance in different directions to prevent showing the 15 year old bag boys my nipples... I don't think I succeeded.

Watching a scary movie while your home alone and seriously debating about sleeping with the baseball bat from behind the door and the lights on. I may or may not have slept with the lights on, I left the bat where it was though.

Tops:

Upon returning with that vital ingredient to the recipe mentioned above, making AWESOME cheese enchiladas.

Making a real effort and driving the hour and 15 minutes out of town to spend some much needed time with a dear friend and laughing at a movie where a main character is called Ditchwater Sal.

The weather finally turning colder and becoming the perfect fall weather for the outfit above!

*Side note, my engagement story to be shared soon and if you were one of those that asked what happened to the friend I didn't go to Oregon with...all will be answered.